Chit Chat and Socializing

Preparing for my daughters birthday on Friday got me thinking about birthdays when I was a kid. Some of my best memories are from birthdays with my family. Not because of the gifts and not because of the grief that led up to the special day but because of the actually time spent with family. (Yes I am a sap) I remember homemade birthday cakes, special dinners, my Uncle Mikes hugs, cousins to play with while the grown ups talked and laughed. As a kid that is what you see. That is how my relationships formed with my extended family. We were not perfect. There was stress and heartache and all kinds of issues in my family but holidays were for family. As we grew from kids to teenagers our own attitudes shifted. My older sister no longer felt like going to every family party and we all began to take issue with the predictability of each gathering. Jokingly we referred to them as time to "chit chat and socialize".
Now, however, listening to my daughter make plans for her big day I realize how important these events truly are. She is developing her own memories. As I helped her wash her hair tonight she said "Mom, when we get back from my special dinner can you have my presents set out in front of the fire place and maybe blindfold me before I walk into the room?" I laughed because except for the blindfold, she was checking on to make sure that we were going to follow procedure. Dinner at her restaurant of choice, home for cake and presents (plus a little Maggie flair with the blindfold!)
This is what birthdays are about building memories and sharing special moments together. Not the obligatory phone call we all seem to make to the relative that seems so distant. Or the hunt for a perfect gift for someone when you truly do not know them well enough to shop for anyway. My Aunt Joyce always sends me a card with a special message. She does the same for Darrel and for Maggie as well. All three of us look forward to her card because it ment she took time to sent down and write each of us a quick note and let us know how much she cares about us.
Unfortunetly, I have not lived by this example. I have always wanted to do this but I always fall short. I have had every excuse, too. I am overwhelmed with life (read my lil' sis blog and her about a crazy life with four kids and this excuse falls flat). I wanted to do more for their birthday to show them how much my family loves them (Then I hear myself say that and laugh, because we all know how much a gift says). So I started to think about my own extended family. I do not have the forced chit chat and socializing that at times I saw as predictable so I do not have the relationship that I thoughtI would have with my loved ones. So now it is up to me. Do I want to keep letting birthdays slip by with nothing more than a phone message left for them on a machine. Or do I want to live up to my Aunt Joyce's example and send a personal message of love and thanks for the blessing these people are in my life? Seems pretty obvious what I want and the kind of sister, aunt, daughter, grandaughter god-mother, and friend I want to be. So here is to a New Year's resolution made early. (Now all I need to do is get calandar in order and make the time.) To all of my family that I no longer have "chit chat and socializing" with: I love you all and I daily Thank God for the blessing of having you in my life. May your Christmas and Birthdays be moments of joy that last all year long!